Recent Couples Counseling Posts

Attachment Theory and Social Work

Social work has always seemed to struggle with a lack of resources.  An important question to ask is how those resources are being spent, and whether or not families in need are receiving optimal care.  One theory states that the deterministic ethos underlying policy agendas is creating a narrative of dependency among clients.  Can certain treatment paradigms actually improve the health of clients, and therefore reduce the overall need for treatment services?  Some in the field have developed treatment strategies based upon attachment theory and have found promising results, especially in...

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Is Your Relationship In Trouble?

If you happen to be wondering whether or not your marriage or relationship is in trouble, it probably is. There are some key warning signs you can look for to determine whether or not you and your partner need couples counseling.  For starters, ask yourself if you and your partner are having the same argument over and over.  If so, this indicates that there’s probably a communication problem that needs to be addressed.  You can also ask yourself if it feels like you and your partner are living separate lives, indicating an emotional distance in the relationship.  Traumatic events such...

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Criticizing Our Partner Undermines Our Relationship

It is natural to feel frustrated when our significant other fails to meet our expectations.  Many of us have a certain vision for how our relationship should be, and when our loved ones fail to behave in ways to support this vision, we can become quite annoyed and critical.  Unfortunately, if we constantly criticize our partner, they are going to experience it as rejection and respond defensively.  This will ultimately undermine not only our own goals in the relationship, but the entire health of the relationship as well.  Instead, we should practice being selfless and offering up the best...

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Can This Marriage Survive?

When an affair surfaces in a marriage, it is almost impossible to tell what the consequences will ultimately be.  First of all, it is important to accept the fact that counseling is a necessity for attempting to work through infidelity.  Even then, there are no guarantees that the marriage will survive.  Both parties have to really want to work through the issues.  Usually, this requires a strong connection that goes back many years before the layers of resentment built up.  Also, working through an affair requires both parties to take responsibility for what they may have contributed to the...

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Humor an Attractive Quality in Partners

It comes as no surprise that studies show how much we value humor in our relationships.  Humor can be an elixir in our lives because laughter increases blood circulation, boosts the immune system, and triggers the release of dopamine.  According to one survey, about 80% of both men and women find it “important” for their partner to laugh at their jests.  Interestingly, most men want to “be” the funny one in the relationship, while women are more apt to fall for a man on the basis of his humor.  Perhaps humor indicates creativity and intelligence, two qualities women instinctively appreciate...

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The Smart Phone Era and Logging Off

Communicating in the digital age has become so instant that many people are having a difficult time logging off – even during meals and private time.  According to David Meyer, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, if we don’t respond to texts or emails within a couple of hours people assume we are out of touch or don’t like them socially.  To remedy this awkward effect, a new app has been developed that informs our friends “we are taking a break from digital communication”.  Though it might seem like we should be able to just announce this directly, apparently social...

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